David Duffield Reader Submissions Part 8

Here’s the latest batch of emails that we received at HQ over the grande tours of the summer. Sorry if you don’t always get a personalised reply from us but you can have a warm feeling inside knowing that thousands of DD fans from all over the world will be reading your prose and that the great man himself will probaby ‘press the old buttons’ and read your comments as well.

From: Cristina M
Subject: Het Volk

[img]duffie6.jpg[/img]
I was lucky enough to be in France for the Paris Roubaix and encountered David working hard on the Saturday afternoon at the Team Presentations. He is always easy to spot as red Eurosport jackets are scarce. (Sorry drifted off at a tangent there, bad trait just like DD) He’d just come back from the tour of the Basque Country, so I had a complete run down of Fridays race. He was getting quotes from the riders, especially Stuart O’Grady, they seem to have a wonderful rapport.

Didn’t get time to give him the news that one of his favourite goats cheeses was on offer at the Carrefour up the road. It is called crottin, I think thats the spelling and it smells like old socks. I do hope that he relates that tale in the TDF, its quite funny.

I have a love/hate relationship with my camera and I’m afraid my ones of David in Compiegne are a bit dire. But they are much better than last year at the TDF and I’m not showing those.

About the picture That yellow cord round his neck is one of those pen things and he always carries at least another pen with him, and the paper, I reckon if you could count up all his paperwork for the year its at least 2 trees worth.

Its great that Dave takes the time to chat with all his viewers and seems to actually enjoy it all. My guess is that the pen gets used to write down all the stories the general public tell him so he can relate them on the next day’s programme.

From: Andrew R
Subject: Not quite a Duffieldism but…

During the Criterium International this year, eventual winner Laurent Brochard has fired off the front of the bunch David utters “Sacre Bleu or whatever the French equivalent is …. ” !!

Regards

Andrew

Was he uttering Sacre Bleu in amazement at Brochard’s terrible mullett?

From: Aodan H
Subject: DD

I was just reading through the Duffieldisms and it brought to mind another I’ve heard.

Be-ann coo-ee – description of spectors waiting in the sunshine at a mountain col, soon followed by description of how DD (and all his friends) do or do not like their steak cooked.

Aodan.

I reckon he can weave food into any conversation ever.

From: Zoran A
Subject: Duffield is Great

Hello Marco, Hi Guys

I have just stumbled across your site and I have to say that all these contributions by your visitors and all those rightly famous David Duffield’s phrases really made my day ! Yes, in his own words – “most surely” – David Duffiled is one hell of a comentator ! I have been listening to his comentaries on EuroSport for six, seven years now and I must say that I enjoyed every single word of him, no matter how utterly incomprehensible it was ! David put a spell on me the very first moment I heard him ! The way he talks about cycling, his rumblings about local food and wine, his memories of past heroes, his excitement come the Alps d’Huez stage… all that keeps my adrenaline on high level ! Listening to him is a festivity of a special kind !

Er… just in case you forgot, some of his phrases are “too, as well”:

“Surely, Shean, you must be… “

“…a long day in the office…” (or “…a long day in the saddle…”)

“…different fish to fry…”

“…Lion King himself…” (describing Mario Cippolini)

“…every man for himself…”

“…oh, what a charachter…”

“…until then it’s time for me, David Duffield, to say ‘By, by’…”

Long Live David Duffield !!!

Zoran A

Zagreb Croatia

Thanks Zoran, I always love it when I get emails from other afficianados all over the world. And if you can understand most of what DD says then your English must be the best in the whole of Zagreb!

From: Dave O
Subject: Duffieldballs

dear all ,heard yesterday (20 may 03).. on the coverage of the ‘giro’….gazelli et al were chasing the break containing simoni …..”simoni’s having the bags on”..a new one on me …what does it mean ?….regards, ( used again today)

dave o
old portlians c.c.

Dave you could have put that one through the HQ letter box (for those not in the UK Old Portlians are also part of the major bike scene going on in Croydon, London)

From: Harry B
Subject: Duffers

How about “going like stink” for your collection which I have heard David say this year.

Harry

Thanks Barry. Thats on a par with Mike Smith’s “Lickity spit”

From: Geoff O
Subject: Duffers on the Mike

Hello you bounders , thanks for the info; on the Great David Duffield, we need characters like that to keep the sport going , as a prime example look no further than Murray Walker for enthusiasm and wit and a bit of eccentricity. Do you remember when the Europeans all came over to Brighton for a world cup event a few years ago , I was so inspired that I actually rode down from near Reading to sample the racing and as I too am a great fan of ” Fausto Coppi ” I had a jersey made up in the black/White stripes and Carpano/Coppi written on it , so once I got to the circuit I was standing on the roadside when along came ” Duffers ” in the commentary car and he noticed me or rather the jersey , he seemed to splutter in disbelief as he said something like ” great to see so many fans out here today and just look at that a Coppi Jersey by the roadside too as the great Fausto had been seen riding in and he remarked that he expected that I must be a Fausto fan too”, so he made me feel a bit famous that day with his observations. Cheers to you and to David Duffield , ” Jaffa ” former Hon/Sec. Chiltern R.C.

Famous indeed! Ive had a couple of people writing in to knock DD lately and I bet they are the sort of people who think we should all be wearing black alpacas and not poking our heads above the parapet. We need more people extollingthe virtues of their heroes whether they are cycling greats like Fausto or cycling eccentrics like DD!

From: Shaun Wallace
Subject: Duffieldisms

Just to let you know, I’m lapping this all up like a cat rescued from the Sahara 😉
Keep it up
Shaun Wallace (San Diego)

Shaun, David sends his best regards!!!

From: Warren
Subject: Duffieldisms

Marco, the Duffield pages are fantastic, bags of laffs and bags of entertainment. What a tribute to the great man. And to all those that think its acceptable and somehow trendy just to slander and criticize can’t have any sense or spark of humour in their miserable souls!!!! They should go read the saying “people in glass houses……….” Keep up the good work anyhow, cycling is on the rise again my friend, believe!!! ” Now dear viewer, have you got your pads and pencils together? good… get ready to jot this down…. oh wait a minute whats happened….. whats he doing there behind that tree? If Eurosport ever need a willing pupil to take over , I’m your man!!
Warren.(Mission Racing).

Go for it. We might need a commentator for a big race we are organising in Summer 2004. Are you interested? Mail us if you are but obviously only if you can maintain a surreal stream of unconciousness whilst also reporting occasional facts of the event!

From: Paul D
Subject: DD

Love the site. Just finished watching this evenings 2003 Tour de France highlights of the team time trial. US Postal go into the lead, at which point DD announces to the world, in a high pitch voice, “that’s Armstrong in yellow tonight”. My non cycling wife asks me why this is and I, placing all my trust in DD, tell her its obvious because Armstrongs in the US Postal. A minute later it’s up to Sean to explain that it’s not Armstrong but another US Postal rider, who’s higher up the classification, that will be in yellow. That’s what I thought says the wife. DD makes no acknowledgement and goes off at a tangent. Meanwhile at home I try the same tactic but my wife isn’t as quite as forgiving as Sean. Why after all these years do I still believe the guy? It might have something to do with the amount of alcohol consumed while watching. Try it and see how many units you needed before DD makes perfect sense.

All the best PAUL D

Red ink? lots of it?

From: Ian
Subject: David Duffield

Excellent website. I’ve been watching cycling on eurosport since they cabled our street, many a long year!! I must say that now that the Sherwin and Ligget show is back on ITV, it throws into sharp relief the quality of DD’s commentary. Let’s face all the commentators get the same pictures we get. Watch satellite telly in france during the tour and you have 6 or 7 channels showing exactly the same pictures. Just different commentaries. And with access to the excellent Canal Tour internet website, you are probably much better informed about gaps, standing’s and times than the commentators are. Cos you haven’t got all the distractions. The mind numbing tedium of Ligget’s saying “that’s right Paul” and going into yet another rehash of the previous bonus sprint, I can do without. DD asking Kelly about the rider’s dinner for the tenth time are memories I will forever treasure.

Cheers

Ian

L&S have been great for cycling in the UK with their programmes that bring cycling to the mainstream but for sheer entertainment it has to be the housewifes choice DD. I bet Phil doesn’t get women sending him pictures of their pussies.

From: David C
Subject: Duffers

The only time I heard D.D. really get carried away was at last year’s TdF. The final climb up to the moon landscape was where Tommy Simpson died. It really brought tears to your eyes.

It was very moving wasn’t it. Id love to get a copy of that audio and host it on this site so that everyone can appreciate how sincere he is.

From: Frank C
Subject: DAVID DUFFIELD

Hi,
When is this great character going to write a book about France and the restaurants that he frequents on route.
Please order me the first copy!!!!!!!!!
Yours sincerely,Frank C

Every time he is on air we learn a new fact about him (the latest one I heard was that he helped build the very first BMX track in the UK thus getting a whole generation of kids interested in cycling – no mean feat) so I think he should also do an autobiography as well as the restaurant guide you mention!

From: Brian McC
Subject: We love David….

Hi (again)

Popped home lunchtime and flicked on the TV to catch up with the tour coverage to find our favourite commentator at his best …

… Already we were in classic Duffield territory (At the bottom of the Col du Tourmalet). Yes David was discussing his lunch again. He had bought a tinned salad from a supermarket which had apparently gone off and was filling the studio with a foul smell. He rambled on …

“… and if you could smell the .. err … smell down the line into your loudspeakers, well .. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (wierd rasping noise followed by long silence) .. what’s happening Sean?”

Classic!

All the best,
Brian McC

PS Why can you never hear anyone in the commentary area laughing?

I bet they are very professional in that commentary box and anyway i would imagine that the smells that Klaus Ungermann can generate after having bratwurst first thing in the morning are worse than anything and Englishmen can parp 😉

Check out the whole collection of Duffield pages here and enjoy one of the all time great commentators.